Never Wake
by Liv-x-Case-Benson
Summary: In life, chances are given. Love is a chance. The same goes for a second chance at a first love. Sara Willows knows how unpredictable love and life go hand in hand. Being without the one she loved most in the world wasn't ever in her mind, much less raising their family without her, but maybe, just maybe, it's time to be happy again. Eventual S/inn. [co-writer: dcmasters] T-M
1. Hard Hit

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

**Ch. 1: Hard Hit**

A wide, permanent smile seemed to be glued on the brunette's face. The day had finally arrived.

They'd spent many years going back and forth flirting. A shy smile, the turn of their heads. But it still took years for them to admit anything. Well, years and a night of drinking. It wasn't different from any other night, until the brunette had found herself feeling jealous of the guys at the bar trying, in vain, to get the redhead's attention. Not that she had taken the offers.

A year after that night, under the light of a sparkling sky and full moon, the redhead, unexpectedly, dropped to one knee with her nerves on the outside. Sara, after crying for a couple minutes because she really hadn't seen this coming, – they had barely discussed anything, so Sara assumed it was still about another year away – excitedly accepted.

Now, eight months later to the day, she stood in the church. Her dress was pure white, sleeveless, and dipped just the right way, the veil over her face, not making it difficult to see, but her vision was a little impeded.

"You look beautiful," came a soft whisper from the redhead who wore the widest smile as she took Sara's hands in her own, thumbs softly brushing the backs.

Sara grinned. "You look gorgeous."

Catherine looked deeply into Sara's eyes as the ceremony began. She was so incredibly happy. Never before has a relationship seemed so right, so perfect. Sara made her feel like she was the only person in the world that mattered, and when the brunette had accepted the proposal that some may have considered too soon, from that moment on she'd felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

Soon their rings were exchanged and vows were said, but just as their lips were a second away, Sara woke up.

* * *

><p>Sitting up, she wiped her eyes. It was always the same dream. Catherine had been gone for almost ten years now and she felt it every day. Especially on their anniversary.<p>

Soon, she heard little knocks coming from the other side of the bedroom door. Sara sighed, turning on the lamp. It was their twins. They were born three years before Catherine had been tragically hit by an oncoming car in the dead of night, Mason and Madison, but, being so young, they didn't remember much. They only knew that Mama wasn't coming back. "Come in."

The twins rushed in and moved onto the bed as they both hugged Sara. They'd heard her crying. "It's ok Mom," Madison whispered.

Sara smiled softly, ruffling their heads, hugging them tightly. They were seven now. Madison looked just like Sara, while Mason looked like Catherine, right down to his hair.

"I know we didn't have much time, but we miss her too," Mason said softly.

"What do you remember?"

"Her perfume. She always smelt of roses."

She smiled widely. "Anything else?"

"She always hummed when she cooked," Madison replied.

Sara nodded. "And she always cooked at night. We'd come home, send grandma home, and she would always insist on hugging you two and Lindsay before bed."

"Mama always said she loved us. And I remember she told you she loved you before she left the house, even if she was just washing the car," Mason giggled.

"Exactly..." she sighed. "You know, I think we should get some sleep, okay guys?" Sara said. She wasn't able to hold things back for their benefit anymore. It was just too painful.

They nodded before Mason shot his twin a worried look. "We weren't going to say anything..."

Sara shook her head. "Say what?"

"Lindsay's gone out again," Madison offered.

Catherine's death had hit the young girl hard. If losing one parent wasn't enough for the poor kid to cope with, she had to lose both. Her teenage years had been a struggle for the whole family. She'd stay out late, skip school and often disappear in the small hours. To where, God only knew.

Sara sighed. "Well, I'm not leaving you two here alone," she said, calling Lily to come over as she dressed.

Lily arrived within fifteen minutes. She had become somewhat accustomed to calls in the middle of the night asking her to come over. Using her key, she gained access and when she found Sara she pulled her into a tight hug. "Go, we'll be ok here."

Sara nodded. "I wish she'd quit doing this and just talk to me," she said, zipping up her jacket.

"We all do. But she'll be seventeen soon, it's a difficult age, and, well, she only ever confided in her mother."

Sara sighed. "Luckily, she always goes to the park," she said, leaving the house and driving a few blocks until she saw Lindsay sitting on a bench. Sighing, she killed the engine, pulling the keys and getting out, walking up slowly.

It was the same bench Catherine always insisted they sat on. The one under the big oak tree which provided just enough shade, but equally enough sunlight on a summer day. Tears glistened on Lindsay's cheeks under the soft lamplight that lit the park, her voice a whisper, "You always knew what to do, Mom. I wish you were here. I don't know what to do."

Sara sat on the other end silently. "You could try to talk to me. Linds, I know I'm not her and I never will be, but I've always loved you like you were ours. Honey, you know she would want you to talk to me."

"You'd be disappointed," Lindsay offered, brushing the tears from her cheek as she gave a sniff.

"Honey, nothing you could ever do could disappoint me. Please tell me," she asked, offering her hand in support.

Lindsay's glanced sideways at the hand before taking it. "Mom would say... it's ok, Linds, we'll figure it out... I never understood why she always thought I could do no wrong. Why nothing I ever did was a big deal."

"Because, compared to the job, you were her reason for getting up and fighting. You're her little girl, even now. She still loves you," Sara said, scooting closer. "And I love you too."

The tears which had ceased now returned and coursed quickly down the young girl's cheeks. Quickly, her head found Sara's shoulder and, for the first time, she clung tightly to the brunette.

Sara held her tightly, kissing her head and stroking her hair. "I'm still here, kid. I'm not going away and we all love you."

"I..." Lindsay managed as she felt a hard lump for in her throat. She attempted to swallow it several times, managing to find her voice a couple of minutes later. "I'm pregnant," she whispered softly, her cries evolving to loud sobs.

Sara pulled the teen into her lap, holding her tightly. "Shhh... It's going to be okay. We'll figure it out," she said as the shock wore off, kissing her head.

Lindsay gave a soft laugh, wiping her tears. "You sounded just like Mom."

Sara smiled. "Well, maybe it's because I am one. Do you know who the father is?"

Lindsay shook her head. "Please don't hate me," she whispered.

"Honey, nothing you could ever do would make me hate you. When did it happen?"

"It wasn't just the once."

"Then how can you not-unless... Sweetie, were you...raped?" she asked gently.

Lindsay buried her head against Sara's shoulder. "I don't remember."

"Were you drunk? At a party?"

"Both. I don't want to talk anymore."

Sara nodded. "Ok. But will you do something for me?"

"What?" Lindsay asked, looking up at her.

Sara bit her lip. "Come with me to get checked over for disease and infections? Honey, I-I get you don't want to talk about it anymore and, okay that's fine, but I just want to make sure you're still healthy. Then, whenever you want, we can talk more about what you want to do."

"I already got tested," Lindsay confessed. "But I will let you take me to the doctor. I need something a little better than blue lines on a few plastic sticks."

"That's good thing, sweetie, that you went without my asking. How about I keep you from school tomorrow and we'll go see a doctor after I drop the twins at grandma's?"

Lindsay nodded as a bright beam of light shone down, a helicopter circling the park.

Seconds later, Nick approached. "You two ok?"

Sara held her tight. "We're fine. What's with the search and rescue? I didn't call you."

Nick laughed. "DB on the west side of the park. We're just being thorough."

Sara sighed. "Well, if I had my kit, I might join in."

Lindsay pulled back from Sara, looking between them for a moment. "I wanna see," she said, "the scene, I mean."

Sara smiled. "Hang on, I'll be right back," she said, going to her car and grabbing the vests. _Plural_. She walked back over after pulling hers on. "Here, I was keeping this for sentimental value, but I think she'd want you to have it," she said, handing her Catherine's vest.

Lindsay ran her hands over the name tag. "Thanks," she smiled, carefully putting it on. It was the first time she'd shown an interest in anything for years.

Sara smiled, wrapping an arm around her. "Maybe we can have your name sewn in underneath, huh?"

"I like it the way it is," Lindsay smiled, leaning into her.

Sara nodded. "Okay, do we have any signs to go by?"

"Shot. Through and through," Nick said, "No immediate sign of any weapon. Now, Lindsay, I know you've never attended a scene before, so anything you're not sure about ask myself or Sara."

Sara nodded, handing her an extra flashlight. "Be careful where you step. Evidence could be anywhere. If there's anything you think we need, tell us, ok? What are we looking for then?"

Lindsay nodded, looking around slowly.

"Footprint. The usual," he replied, taking Sara aside. "Is she ok?"

Sara shook her head. "Not now, ok?"

"She told you?" he asked, kneeling down to the body to collect some evidence.

"Wait...how did you know?"

"She came to the lab after. Wanted to report it. I'm sorry, I swore I wouldn't tell you. She didn't want you to worry."

Sara nodded. "It's alright. At least she didn't just let it go. But now...she might have more than she could ever want."

"Ah... well, for tonight, we should make her focus on the case."

"I agree," she said.

"Hey, Sara..." Lindsay called.

Sara walked closer. "Yeah?"

"Bullet," she indicated, shining her flashlight at the ground.

"Nice spot. Nick?"

"Yeah?" he asked, joining them.

"Bullet. I don't have anything else on me."

He nodded, picking it up with his tweezers and placing it in an evidence bag. "Good spot. We'll stay a while longer then head back to the lab."

Sara nodded, stepping back to tell Lily what was going on.

* * *

><p>When they arrived at the lab, Lindsay looked around. It was so different to how she'd seen it last time. The young girl automatically walked toward her mother's office before stopping.<p>

Sara smiled. "What is it?"

"Is it still... her office?"

"Technically, yes and mine. It's mine now. I gave up my office and moved in after..." she sighed. "You can go sit in there if you want. It should be open."

"It's ok, I get it. You wanted to feel closer to her."

"Yeah, but I didn't change much. All her things are still there, just in a little different spot. It really has been a long time since you've been here."

"Show it to me."

Sara nodded, hanging up her jacket before leading her down the hall. It was always a little errie because she always expected Cath to be in before her or not have gone home. She did it so often before the twins were born...

Lindsay smiled when she saw the pictures of all five of them on the shelf. "She loved that one at the park."

Sara smiled, sitting behind the desk. "She did."

"It's your ten year wedding anniversary tomorrow, right?" she asked suddenly.

She nodded. "Yes, why?"

"I remember it like it was yesterday," Lindsay smiled, staring at a picture of her mother.

"I always end up dreaming of it the day before. Right before we kiss, I wake up," Sara said, sighing.

Lindsay turned and approached Sara, leaning against the desk. "I..."

"Yeah?"

"Mom would want you to smile. That's all."

"I know, but it's kind of hard anymore."

Lindsay nodded. "I understand. I do. But I need you, and the twins need you. We need you to smile."

Sara smiled, hugging her tightly. "I know, but even after ten years, it still feels fresh."

"I'm sorry I've been so horrible."

"It's not all your fault. Teen years are supposed to be crazy."

Lindsay gave a small smile. "I love you too, by the way."

"I love you too. So, should we go analyze?"

Lindsay nodded, but returned to the office a couple of hours later, curling up on the small couch, clinging to a picture of Catherine as she fell asleep.

Sara smiled upon finding her after she was finished, shaking her shoulder gently. "Let's go home."

Lindsay gave a soft yawn, as she sat up, then stood to place the picture back on the shelf before tucking something into her pocket. "What time is it?"

"2:45."

"Can I stay in with you tonight?"

Sara nodded, leading her out to the car. "Absolutely."

* * *

><p>When they arrived home, Lindsay went to change as Lily approached Sara. "How is she?"<p>

"Ok, for the most part I guess," she said.

"I trust you. I'll get out of your hair," Lily smiled.

"Wait," Sara said.

Lily turned back. "Yes?"

Sara bit her lip. "I'm taking Lindsay to the doctor tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes."

Lily smiled with appreciation. "I'd like that. Goodnight, Sara."

"Goodnight," she said, walking back to the twins' room, kissing their heads before going into the bedroom.

Lindsay was already curled up on her mother's side, hugging the pillow tightly.

Sara walked into the bathroom to change, then laid down. "Hey..."

Lindsay rolled to face her. "Hi," she smiled. "You meant it before when you said everything was going to be ok, right?"

Sara nodded, hugging her. "Yes sweetie. We'll figure it out."

Lindsay smiled, nodding. "We should sleep."

"I love you."

"Love you too," she whispered sleepily, "Night... Mom."

"Night honey," Sara said, falling asleep.

Lindsay fell into the most peaceful sleep she'd had in years.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Okay guys, new pairing...eventually. Tell me what you think!<strong>


	2. Gifts and Pain

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

**Ch. 2: Gifts and Pain**

The following morning there was a loud knock in the front door and the young girl rose from bed to answer it, signing for a package then shutting the door.

Sara was up a few minutes later, yawning. "Who was it?"

"Package delivery for you," Lindsay shrugged.

Sara took it cautioudly. It was light. No ticking, but she didn't remember ordering anything. "Hmm." She sat on the couch with it, opening it.

Lindsay sat beside her, watching curiously. Inside was a smaller box and a card.

Sara opened the card, setting the small box in her lap, the larger on the coffee table.

The card was handwritten in her _wife's_ writing. A pre-planned surprise intended to precede an evening dedicated to both of them that sadly they wouldn't share. Inside it read: _Wow, ten years, huh? You will always be my one true love. Thank you for being an amazing wife and mother to our children. I love you so much! Forever and always, Cath xxx._

Sara sat staring at the card, tears running down her face. "I...it...she...she pre-planned... Oh my god..."

"What?" Lindsay asked moving closer to look at the card before wrapping her arms tightly around Sara. "It's ok..."

Sara leaned into her, showing her the card.

"You should open your gift," Lindsay whispered.

Sara nodded, wiping her eyes as she opened the box.

The box contained a simple, channel set platinum eternity ring. The ring was set with three quarter carat diamonds, but between each was each of their birthstones, the twins either side, the other three spread between them. A simple inscription in the band read: _Forever and Always xxx_.

Sara smiled, slipping it on ahead of her wedding band. "Wow, I can't believe she did this," she whispered.

"That was Mom. Full of surprises, prepared but usually late," Lindsay said with a soft laugh.

She nodded. "Yeah, well, how about breakfast?" Sara asked.

"I'll get it," Lindsay said, handing Sara a photo of Catherine, as she stood, "You spend some time with Mom."

Sara nodded, tracing the side of Catherine's face on the photo. It never felt real until a special occassion, like a birthday or holiday. Yes, pictures of Catherine were on the walls, but some days...it didn't feel real. But then, others, it felt like she was ripping in two.

* * *

><p>They'd been at a 419 on the side of the road, bullet through the back of the driver's skull, exiting through the windshield.<p>

_"Hmm, just the one," Sara had said. "He has his wallet, a nice Rollex and wedding ring, so it wasn't a robbery..."_

_"Mob hit?" Catherine asked with an inquisitive look from the other side of the vehicle. _

_"Okay, but wouldn't they leave some sort of marker?"_

_"Maybe," Catherine replied, then smiled, "Oh, I forgot to tell you..."_

_Sara looked up. "What?"_

_"Mason read me most of our favorite story before work when I was putting him to bed."_

_"Awww! Really?" she smiled. "He's getting really good with his words."_

_"I know, I was so proud. At the end he even said night Mama, you smell like flowers, love you lots. "_

_"Aww!"_

_Catherine grinned, going to process the boot. Half an hour later, she looked up. "Hey Sara.. "_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Love you," she said softly, moving over to the brunette. _

_Sara smiled, hugging her tightly. "Love you too."_

_Unsually, given that they were at a crime scene, Catherine pulled back to kiss Sara deeply for a couple of seconds. _

_"Mmm, you ok? You're not usually this affetionate on scene."_

_"I'm fine," Catherine smiled, caressing Sara's cheek, "I'm just going to go over to the car and get some more adhesive tape for some fibers in the back."_

Sara sighed. Now, she wished she hadn't let go of Catherine. The car sped past. Sara managed to pull Catherine out of it's direct path, but a front wheel and back wheel still ran over her head from the sheer speed. It was like the driver hadn't even seen them. She called for a bus. The shock hadn't set in until she was waking up Lindsay.

_"Lindsay!" she said, banging on her bedroom door. "Open up! It's an emergency!"_

_"Where's the fire?" Lindsay asked, sleepily opening the door._

_Sara pulled her tightly to her. "You've got to get dressed and come with me right now... There-there was an accident and, uh, your mom's in a coma, honey," she whispered, ignoring the searing pain in every part of her body. She'd been advised to stay for her own injuries, but had insisted that she needed to go get Lindsay as Catherine wasn't looking well._

_"W-What sort of accident?" Lindsay asked, quickly going to dress, leaving Sara in the doorway. _

_"Head-on collision. I...tried to pull her out of the way but..."_

_"But she'll be ok, right?" the young girl asked as she finished dressing, quickly pulling her hair up. _

_Sara sighed. "Th-they don't know."_

_Lindsay's face paled a little as she took Sara's hand. "Let's go then."_

_Sara nodded, letting the neighbor in to watch the twins as Lily would meet them. "I'm pretty banged up too, but I said I needed to come get you," she said, getting in the driver's seat._

_"So you'll have to go a while when we get there?"_

_"No. They made sure nothing was broken or bleeding profusely. I'll stay with you."_

_"Good," Lindsay replied, her voice shaky. _

_Sara held her hand tightly._

_Lindsay's grip tightened as they walked into the hospital, leaning into Sara a little._

_The brunette wrapped an arm around her as they made their way to the elevator, ignoring the stares at her bloodied, beaten appearance._

_A nurse greeted them as soon as they walked into ICU, showing them to Catherine's room._

_Lindsay stopped, taking a deep breath outside the door. _

_Sara kissed her head. "You don't have to go in with me if you don't want to."_

_"I want to," Lindsay replied, straightening up a little. "Ok. I'm ready now."_

_She nodded, leading her inside. Luckliy, most of Catherine's face was covered in bandages so she didn't look physically traumatizing. Sara sighed sitting in the chair by the bed. Phyically, Catherine was breathing on her own, but it was more of an automatic response. The doctors had already told her that Catherine's brain didn't show enough activity to wake up._

_Lindsay stood touching Catherine's arm cautiously, then took her hand. "Mom... it's ok. Sara and I are going to stay until you're better."_

_Sara sighed. She hated bursting the bubble, but... "Linds..."_

_"Yeah?" Lindsay asked softly, turning her head. _

_"Her breathing is triggered by her brain, but, the doctor said that no other signs say she'll wake up. I'm sorry. I know you want to be positive, but there isn't one."_

_Lindsay took a moment to process the information as tears surfaced in her eyes. "But... s-she has to... she can't..."_

_Sara nodded, standing up and hugging her. "I know, I know. And I do like the positive side, but I didn't want to lie to you. I'm so sorry."_

_"Don't," Lindsay said, shrugging her off._

_Sara nodded, pulling away. "I didn't do this," she whispered, sitting back beside her._

_"I never said you did. I just don't need you to hug me. I'm not a kid."_

_"Ok."_

_Lily knocked on the door seconds later. "I got here as soon as I could."_

_Sara looked over, unable to say anything._

_Lily walked in, wrapping an arm around her. "I spoke to the doctors, you don't have to say anything," she whispered._

_Sara nodded, leaning into her. "I-I tried..."_

_"I know you'd have done everything you could. I'll be here for all of you always ok?"_

_"Ok."_

_"Sara, did she say anything?" Lindsay asked quietly. _

_"J-just that she loved us. Wanted me to take care of you guys."_

_Lindsay nodded, walking outside to sit down, head in her hands. _

_"I would go after her, but she needs a little time," Sara said._

_"I know it's hard on all of you but... it must be hard to lose both your parents. Yes, you'll always be her parent too, but biologically..."_

_"I know. I get it, And I think it's smart to expect her going off the handle now. She is almost thirteen."_

_Lily nodded. "She looks peaceful."_

_Sara nodded. "She does. No pain and, right now, that's probably a saving grace."_

_"I can leave you two a minute and check on Lindsay if you'd like?"_

_"Sure. Cath's not going anywhere."_

_Lily walked out, standing beside her._

_Lindsay sobbed quietly. "Not Mom, Grandma... she can't leave me. She promised..."_

_Lily sat beside her. "Every parent promises that. But not everyone can make good on them. The pain is unbearable, but you still have people who love you and need you. And you won't make it through this without them. Honey, car accidents happen every day and some people have no one to hug and cry to if they need it. And while it doesn't feel like much now," she said, wrapping her arms around her, "we all love you." On the inside, she was a complete mess, but she would show that a little later._

_Lindsay curled into her Grandma's side, crying softly. "H-how long?"_

_"H-how long what?"_

_"Do we have until they turn off the machine?"_

_She shook her head. "Sara has the okay on that."_

_Lindsay swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. "Have you got any money?"_

_Lily nodded. "Yes, why?"_

_"I want to go to the shop downstairs. I won't be long."_

_Lily nodded, handing her a couple 20s. "This enough?"_

_Lindsay nodded. "Thanks," she said, going to the elevator._

_Lily stood, walking back into the room._

_"How is she?" Sara asked._

_"Asked for some money to go the shop. She cried a bit. We talked."_

_"That's good. She needed to."_

_"How are you holding up?"_

_The brunette siighed. "I don't know."_

_"I saw Nick on the way. He said they'd processed her whilst you were gone. They're coming back a little later."_

_Sara nodded._

_"Can I do or get you anything?"_

_"Will you sit by me?"_

_"Of course," Lily nodded, pulling a chair beside Sara's, sitting down, "I can move in with you guys for as long as you need."_

_Sara leaned against her. "Yeah, that would be nice. I think I'll have trouble at first. They look so much like her."_

_"Yeah, they do," she smiled. "At least you'll always have part of her with you."_

_"And Lindsay."_

_"She thought the world of you."_

_Sara smiled. "She must've."_

_Lindsay walked in slowly with a bag from the shop, placing it on the table, handing Sara a hair brush. "Come on. Her hair's a mess and you know she wouldn't like that."_

_Sara nodded, standing up to fix Catherine's hair._

_Lindsay took out a bottle of Catherine's favorite shade of nail polish, pulling back the sheets, beginning to paint her toes, taking her time. _

_Sara smiled. "Looks good."_

_"Thanks. I got you a sandwich. Mom would want you to eat something."_

_Sara nodded, taking a bite as she sat down._

_Lindsay moved to paint the redheads fingernails. "She still smells of flowers."_

_"Yeah she does."_

_Lindsay had decided in the shop she needed to be strong for Sara no matter how much it hurt her. "I... I'm ready, whenever you want to... say goodbye."_

_"Okay..."_

_Lindsay recapped the nail polish, then moved to hug Sara._

_Sara nodded, moving to slip Catherine's wedding ring from her finger and putting it beside her own on her chain before hugging Lindsay again._

_"I can help with the twins. We'll be ok," Lindsay whispered._

_She sighed. "Yeah..."_

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews: helly1bradleywyatt<strong>


	3. Pictures

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

**Ch. 3: Pictures**

The next thing she knew, Lindsay placed a plate of breakfast in her lap.

Lindsay took the photo, placing it beside her. "Mind if I go out a while? I've dressed the twins."

"Where to?"

"The lab. I left my phone there."

"I'll go after I eat, ok?"

"I want to go on my own. Then I'll make that appointment on the way back. Don't worry, I'll get a cab."

Sara nodded. "Be careful."

Lindsay kissed Sara's cheek. "See you soon, Mom," she offered, walking from the room.

Sara nodded, eating her breakfast and watching for the twins.

They ran downstairs ten minutes later, Mason just beating his sister into the room. "I won!" he grinned.

"Nah uh! You pushed me!" she protested.

"Guys! Guys! What's going on?"

"We raced downstairs. He says he won, but he pushed me!"

Sara walked over. "Back upstairs and try it again."

"No! He'll cheat again," she said, hugging Sara tightly.

"All right. What do you guys want to do?"

"Cuddles," she replied.

"I want to go outside," Mason replied. Though they were twins, there were times when they were the total opposite of each other.

Sara smiled, picking up Madison. "Should we go outside?"

Madison nodded as Mason raced ahead. When he made it outside, he went behind the big oak tree at the end of the garden.

Sara smiled. "What are you doing?"

"...nothing."

"Mason..."

"What?" he asked, walking out.

"What's behind there?"

"Nothing," he shrugged. Nothing she could see anyway.

Sara walked over.

"See," he said. There was nothing physically obvious, except some marks in the tree making a square.

"What's that for?" she asked, pointing to the square.

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"It's a secret."

She smiled. "Ok, so is there something you want to do?"

"Stay here with the square."

"But why?" she asked, sitting Madison on the ground, kneeling beside him. "Is it for Mama?"

He gave a slow nod. "Mama said I couldn't tell because you like trees."

Sara rested a hand on his shoulder. "Did you make that with her?"

"Yes, but it's not just a square."

"Then what is it?"

He grabbed a nearby twig and put it the gap, forcing the square out. Inside was a deep hole in the trunk, filled with all Mason and Catherine's favorite things, including several of items of Catherine's that had disappeared over the years, including a photo of her and Mason, a necklace and their favorite storybook.

Sara kissed his cheek. "If you want to keep this stuff here you can, but when it gets cold out a few things might not last."

Mason nodded, holding Sara tightly.

Sara hugged him. "How about, when Lindsay gets back, we'll go out and get a sturdy metal box you can put all those on and then put it back inside the tree. They'll last longer."

"Ok," he said reaching into the hole, pulling out Catherine's old locket, handing it to Sara. "You can keep this."

Sara smiled, putting it in her pocket. "Are you two hungry?"

"Lindsay gave us breakfast in bed. I'm glad she came home," Madison replied.

"Yeah, that was nice," she said, putting the square back in place. "What should we do?"

"Can we plant those seeds for the flowers we got a few weeks ago?" Madison asked as Sara's cell rang.

"Sure. Hang on. Sidle."

"Hey, it's Nick. Just letting you know Lindsay's here. Wanted to check you knew."

"She was going to grab her phone," Sara said, heading inside to get the flower seeds.

"Ok. She's gone to speak to Archie. About what I don't know. Did you want me to let you know when she's on her way back?"

"Uh, sure. Thanks Nick," she said, hanging up and going back outside.

* * *

><p>The twins kept Sara amused for the next few hours until Lindsay finally walked through the door.<p>

Sara smiled. "Everything ok?"

"I got you a present. Well, it's sort of a family present."

"What is it?"

Lindsay sat on the bottom step. "Come here."

Sara walked over. "Yeah?"

Lindsay placed a silver plated photo album on her lap as the twins sat behind her. "Last night in Mom's office... I found that phone she lost a few weeks before... Anyway, Archie helped me charge and download the pictures," she smiled, slowly turning each page. There were various pictures of each of them with Catherine, ones of the kids and Sara and loads from their park and holiday adventures.

Sara smiled. "Wow."

"I thought we'd lost them forever."

"So did I."

Lindsay handed the album to Sara, indicating to the twins they should all go inside, and they quickly left the brunette alone.

Sara smiled, opening the album again.

The final picture was one of Catherine and Sara wrapped up in bed together under a thick blanket on a rainy day. The redhead wore her usual infectious smile, her head resting against Sara's.

Sara traced Catherine's face. "We miss you, Cath."

Catherine's voice seemed to ring clearly in her mind as she heard a soft 'I love you'.

Sara stood, taking the album back into the house, sitting on the couch.

The twins were talking softly in the corner of the living room and Lindsay had disappeared to her room.

A card lay on the living room table for a local scan clinic reading 'Thursday 4:30'.

Sara smiled, grabbing the card.

"Mommy, are you ok?" Madison asked.

She nodded, wiping her eyes. "Yes sweetie. Why?"

"You were crying."

"I'm ok," she assured. "Just thinking."

"About Mama?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we're still here."

"Yeah, I know," Sara said.

"You want us to go upstairs?"

"No. You guys are fine."

The both stood cuddling either side of Sara. "Lindsay went upstairs to lay down. She said she felt sick."

"Yeah, she hasn't been feeling good," Sara said, wrapping an arm around each of them.

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><p><strong>Reviews: helly1bradleywyatt &amp; katvrah<strong>


	4. Brush

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

**Ch. 4: Brush**

The twins held her tightly staying silent, falling asleep an hour later.

Sara carried them upstairs, laying them in bed before checking on Lindsay.

Lindsay sat on her bed, laptop on her knees and headphones in, unable to hear Sara knocking.

Sara opened the door, walking in and tapping her arm.

Lindsay quickly shut her screen, taking her headphones out. "Hey."

"You okay?"

"Just feeling a little sick. I'll be ok," she smiled, shifting over.

"Need anything?"

Lindsay shook her head. The one thing she wanted right now she couldn't have. "I'm really sorry, Sara."

"Sorry? Why?" Sara asked, sitting beside her.

"I've been so horrible to you. Making you worry all the time."

"You're a teenager and, after what's happened, it's not unusual that you'd be a little rebellious."

"Mom would have grounded me for it and you know it."

"Yes, that's true, but you're supposed to be like that when you're a teenager."

"Will you come with me?"

"To your appointment?"

Lindsay shook her head. "The trial," she managed.

"Trial?"

"I need to testify. Against my rapist. They got him."

"That's good, right?"

"I guess."

Sara hugged her gently. "It'll be ok."

"Grandma's coming over to look after the twins soon."

The brunette nodded. "That's right. I work tonight..."

"Can I go with you?"

"Lindsay, you don't have any training or schooling. It's really not wise," Sara said.

Lindsay sighed. "Sorry."

Sara stood up. "I'll be right back," she said, going into her bedroom and digging in the back of the closet for the textbooks she'd kept to consult then just couldn't bring herself to throw away. Grabbing the box, she walked back into her room, setting it on the bed. "Here, for you."

"What's this?" she asked, looking inside.

"All my old books. They're not nearly as up-to-date as what's in now, but it'll give you the basics on what's what. I could see about getting the updated versions sometime."

Lindsay smiled. "Thanks. Not just for this."

Sara smiled. "Everything really will be ok. Hey, Linds, listen. Uh, wow this is hard, but sometime...a-and not that I'd ever try to replace her because it's just impossible, but well... Actually, I-I don't even know if I can do this, much less say it..."

"You need someone too."

"Yes, but..."

"You're seeing someone?"

"Well, no, but I think I know who I want to ask..."

"Who?"

"I work with her. She's pretty new. Her name is Julie Finlay. She took my office when I switched."

Lindsay gave a silent nod, thinking. "So she's like Mom?"

"A little, but she's not nearly into blood like that. I-I just figured I'd tell you first. This'll be new to me. I haven't dated in a really long time." Though, truth be told, at first she and Catherine hadn't "dated" as much as went to bed. Because..well, it'd been a while and they trusted each other and, after a rough case, that was always a relaxer.

"What about the twins? What will they think?"

Sara bit her lip. "That's the snag. I'll have to bring her around them A LOT before we - or I - say anything like that. I can't just say I'm dating someone. They're little. They'll think I'm trying to replace Catherine when that'll never be the case."

"I think you'll have more trouble with Mason than Mads. I'll help if I can."

Sara smiled, hugging her. "But don't say anything, ok? It's got to be going for a bit before... Anyway, I should get up and shower."

"Ok," Lindsay nodded, picking up one of the books to read.

The brunette went upstairs to shower and change before coming back down.

* * *

><p>"Hey Sara," Finn smiled, walking into her office a few weeks later, "I need your help."<p>

Sara stood up. "With?"

"That damn window in your old office keeps jamming. Any ideas?"

"I'll come take a look at it," she said, following her out.

"Thanks," she smiled, leading Sara through. "I tried getting onto the chair for leverage, but it still didn't work."

"You're trying to get it down?" she asked.

"It's so cold in here."

Sara handed Finn her jacket as she got up on the chair, pounding her fists on the top of the window, getting it down a few inches to where she wouldn't have to stand on it anymore, but going to move off, she turned wrong, sending her toward the concrete.

Finn quickly caught Sara, breaking her fall, her back hitting the ground hard. Her heart pounded as she attempted to catch her breath.

Sara wrapped an arm around her as her feet touched the floor, trying to get her breath. "Uh...thanks."

"Y-you're welcome," she managed, staring into Sara's brown orbs.

Before Sara even realized what she was doing, her lips crashed on Finn's. It was new territory, somewhat, but she knew, by now, if she didn't feel something, she wouldn't try. The kids still were her priority, but Catherine would want her to try to move on. Hell, five years was more than enough.

Stunned, Finn froze a moment before offering a soft kiss in return.

Sara blushed, pulling away. "Uh, so anyway..."

Finn tucked a piece of her blonde locks behind her ear, stepping back. "Yeah..."

Sara smiled. "Is that everything?"

"I think so."

Sara nodded. "If you need anymore help, let me know, ok?" In truth, most would apologize, but the brunette couldn't form the words. Because, as much as she didn't plan it, she wasn't sorry. It wasn't like Finn had pushed her away and told her off, but Sara had a feeling this would be much different than her previous relationship. She turned, closing the window and walking out.

Finn rested back against the wall, pressing two fingers to her lips remembering the kiss.

The brunette smirked to herself. Maybe little things would mean more right now. She sat back at her desk, going over evidence.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews: helly1bradleywyatt &amp; katvrah<strong>


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